An online friend of mine set me up on a date with someone. My second date.
This was in December. Date number 2 and I had been texting and calling a lot since we exchanged phone numbers. He'd been wanting us to meet early on but I told him I wasn't prepared yet, I mean, not after my first date which turned out to be a big disappointment. I kept begging off, telling him I was busy etcetera etcetera. But he was so insistent so finally I told him, "Okay, let's meet."
We met at Starbucks at 1 AM. He wore this black jacket, I was in my usual tee and jeans getup, nothing fancy. I had done some massive Christmas shopping earlier that day and must have looked a little haggard. I had started scouting for presents in the malls around 8PM and went home at 12 AM since SM was closing that late what with the Christmas shoppers and all.
Black Jacket looked okay but seemed kind of neurotic. Over coffee, we would talk about his job and suddenly he'd stare into space. In his text and YM messages he was a sweet and big chatterbox but face to face he'd barely talk. He also kept fudgeting in his seat. I must be really making him uncomfortable. Which is insane because I was the newbie in this field.
"Come on, let's talk about something," I'd offer. Sometimes I'd get some words out of him and sometimes I'd get his blank stares. And then he'd smile. I like his smile.
We talked a little about his job and mine until I thought we were getting nowhere. "Shall we go?" I asked him. I knew that his place was near mine, he told me so over the phone before, so I offered that we could share a cab. He politely declined, saying he needed to go somewhere first. "At this hour?" I asked him, and he replied with some mambo jambo. It suddenly occured to me that either he thought I was an axe murderer (psycho music plays on cue) and he needed to get away from me quick, or he thought I was rather a disappointment.
Of course my ego got hurt. I mean, who did this guy think he was? He wasn't Tom Cruise himself.
When I got home he texted me that it was nice seeing me. I said to myself who was he kidding. I didn't reply to his message and from that point on he stopped sending me text messages.
A few days after the date, the friend who set us up apologized. He said he was sorry we didn't quite match up. It wasn't his fault, of course, and I told him I'd gladly go through a lot of weird and deplorable dates if it meant finding The One in the end of the day.
"He said you stopped texting him," my friend tells me.
Hold on, something wasn't right. "No, he stopped texting me," I contended. My friend said Black Jacket told him it's the other way around.
I thought for a moment. Alright, I had used my spare SIM card in my cellphone that night we met and then changed back to my reguler SIM card the following day. He must have been texting me on that spare SIM that night and I wasn't able to read his messages, I give him that. But he knew both my numbers. If he thought I wasn't replying, he could have tried the other number.
All the same, I gave up the potentiality of the two of us trying it out so I no longer bothered to make it an issue.
Today, however, I received a text message from Black Jacket. He said hello... etcetra etcetera... I hope you find what you're looking for.
I don't quite get this guy. Should I pursue him? I really did like him the way he was before that episode in Starbucks, but as Darren Hayes sang, "on the telephone lines (we are) anyone, (we are) anything we wanna be."
Once again I'm one confused puppy.
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4 comments:
You know shit happens. But you're young and there's so much out there for you. Don't feel too bad about a date or two going sour. From what I've read in your blog, I think you are a gem. So move on and get going. :-)
Ditto. Good luck on your future dates. You just have to play the dating/mating game.
there are dates... and then there are dates.
when two people meet each other for the first time, it's very rare that you see sparks fly. really. unless, of course, you count those who're driven more than their loins.
sometimes, people are more comfortable texting, emailing, writing, or talking over the phone -- there's comfort in distance and relative anonymity after all. things go different face to face... why? well, people form such impressions of each other through their earlier interactions, they spend the first few minutes -- or hours -- of their first meet-up validating their impressions.
as a result, they lose the fun of thinking that meeting up for the first time IS yet another opportunity to get to know the person -- how he smiles, how he holds his cup, how he wears his clothes, how he affects you face to face.
first dates aren't job interviews. they shouldn't be. the question you should be asking isn't: is he the one? it should be: can he be my friend?
for all you know the guy was as scared and confused as you are. i'd take one of those any day than someone who's cocky on the first date -- pun intended. =)
if the person is 'the one', you don't even need to ask.
you'd know. =)
now that's a song i havent heard in ages. so true. so true.
hang in there
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