I wanna run to you

I know, I know, this blog is running the risk of being dramatic. Which so not my style.

But then I was browsing through my collection of mps's and found the song "I Wanna Run to You" by Regine Velasquez. This part of the song just struck a chord.

"Oh, what's the sense
of trying to hard to find your dreams
without someone to share it with
tell me what does it mean..."

Sadly, I have to admit I've been married to my work for quite a time. And I am just freaking 24! This is no way to live. But the thing, crazy as it may seem, I love my job too. I only hate it when it's Friday (or Saturday or Sunday) and my friends have their own itinerary and I am left to myself. I work my ass off, and Im thinking, wouldn't it be nice if I have both a successful career and a partner for real?

Will you show yourself already??

Anyways. I was checking out Jun's blog and came across something very funny.

"My relatives at were again at our house for our town fiesta a few days ago.
Because I was not there, it was inevitable that the topic of their conversation
was ‘the most contentiously the only homosexual in the world with a surname
similar as theirs’.

My sister told me over the phone: “They just can’t seem
to understand that you’re just … workaholic.”

Haha, I can so relate! I know the drill too well.

When I stay in the office late on Fridays, my officemates would always give me some unsolicited advices, all to the effect that I should enjoy myself more. And stop being so damn workaholic. Well, friends, it's not like I have a choice, do I? Im too scared to go out in the gay scene. And all that hard partying... it's just not my style, ya know.

I wonder how many people out there are in the same situation as I am.

I am good looking, for chrissakes. (Nyahaha...)

Drama

I'm kind of feeling low today. I hate to admit it, but not being with someone sucks.

Sigh, where are you?

Alam mo Yon??

Here's a freaking hilarious semi-poem that I came across with. It's about a kolehiyala stalking a guy.

"Desperadang Kolehiyala"
by:Kiko_kikay of BSN 3

Oh my gosh! Who's that gwapo guy inside the car?
He's like the one i saw kanina sa library!
As in! I can't help it, tumayo talaga my hairs
Unitl now, Im super duper kilig
Alam mo yon!!!

I want to make habol nga sa car niya!
Pero parang di carry ng powers ko!
Kasi naman he drives 45 km. per hour
Kung gagawin ko yun, he might think
na ako ay isang cheetah
And that is super duper nakakahiya
Alam mo yon!!!

Minsan nga I snatched his cellphone
Para lang makuha number niya
Pero i was boba talaga
Kasi hindi pala siya makakareply
Kasi naman his 3G phone was
with me pala
So binalik ko na lang
Ang simcard niya
Kaya textmate na kami
Alam mo yon!!!

Haaaiii... So nakakagigil ang smile niya
with his braces
Shining shimmering splendid talaga
Buti nalang magkatabi ang rooms namin tomorrow
Siya nasa classroom
Ako naman nasa maintenance office
Bukas humanda siya!
Alam mo yon!!!

Gym?

I'm thinking of hitting the gym again- seriously, this time. In the past, I paid for a year-long membership and I was able to drop by and work out for about... 10 times only.

How do you guys do it? Find the discipline and all? And the food! How can you turn your back on chocolates, ice cream, cakes, sugar, spice and everything nice?

But now there's a well-furnished gym in my office building, and it's free. I am tempted to pull myself together and be a gym nut, but something else is making me hesitant.

I tend to become very self conscious. I cannot -even if my life depended on it- lift heavy weights. I have very weak arms and chest, I fucking hate them. And so when I am in the gym, I am resigned to lift only 10's or 15's. Which is so not cool. I am like Jane Fonda, dumbells in hands, in a TV aerobics program.

Should I, or should I not? It's a really petty issue but I don't want to look like a clumsy arse in the office gym.

Been a while

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Locker Room situation

This one's hilarious.

Do's and Dont's in the Locker Room.

Locker Room Etiquette

Wicked

Naughtiness alert!

Yesterday I went over to my friend's place. My friend, a sweet girl, had invited me and another friend, a guy, for dinner and DVD. She lived solo in her condo and would occasionally have friends come over, and it was my first time at her place. I love being in the company of these two friends, they're fun and career-minded like me.

Now this guy friend of mine kind of acts like a kid: hugging everyone, making childish jokes, always loud. I had hinted that he's PLU, or at least bi, but I don't have this thing called gay-dar so I could never confirm. He's no Tom Cruise, but he looked alright and confident. And manly.

He said he would be staying until 11 PM only, he had to go to his friend's place right after.

While Girl was in the kitchen, Guy laid himself on the air bed while I sat near his feet and watched television. The airconditioning was in full blast so Guy was covered in blanket. All of a sudden, Guy's foot was skimming my legs. I didn't take it for anything and just assumed he was toying around so I didn't mind. He kept at it.

Dinner was up and we acted naturally. As good buddies. After the meal, the tree of us laid down on the mattress and watched some movies. A few minutes later, there was Guy's feet again. It was brushing against my legs and now my crotch. I instantly had a hard-on. I covered the region with a throw pillow so they wouldn't notice.

Minutes later, Guy's hand was already on my stomach and feeling me all over. His hand was still under the blanket and the throw pillow was still in place so Girl had no idea what was happening.

Then Guy went third base and gave me a hand job. All under Girl's nose.

I couldn't believe what was happening. Like what the people in the news would say, "Ang bilis ng mga pangyayari."

After about an eternity he stopped and announced he had to go. I was relieved, because if he kept at it I could have made a big mess. Literally and figuratively.

He got up and acted as though nothing had happened. I acted the same way and even joked with him. When he was out, I turned my attention to Girl and we chatted like I had not just been in probably the most compromising position of my life.

Hmmm, what to do, what to do. I don't want to have anything to do with Guy in that sense because I like our friendship and he's my officemate (surprise, surprise). He hasn't texted me anything so far and I don't intend on doing the same.

Don't tell me it's gonna be all awkward and I just lost a friend.

But it's not my damn fault!

Nuthin'

i have been awfully quiet, I know. The simple reason is that nothing's really been happening.

There's this guy that I've been texting. When I say text, I mean just the standard hi and helloes and how's freaking work. He works as a restaurant manager. He's tall and neat looking, but somehow I don't feel we connect, even in our pseudo-conversations over the phone.

We haven't met each other face to face yet, he's always busy with his job and me with mine. Chris, my newfound friend, tells me it is imperative for two people to meet, and I believe him. This guy doesn't look too keen about meeting up though. Every now and then my phone just blinks with hi's and helloes. I'm really confused as to what his agenda is.

I think I shouldn't be wasting my time. I plan on telling him it's petty and it's not working.




P.S.

Thanks to everyone dropping comments. Call me?

The typical twenty-something

Lately I have been chatting with some people who read my blog (thanks for dropping by, you guys!). It seems that I've piqued some people's interests with my situation and, well, my general perspective on this guy to guy thing.

To begin with, I've never had any relationship with another guy and I don't claim to know much about starting or sustaining one. I'm new.

But the thing is, in many ways, I'm a little idealistic as I venture out into this field. See, I'm not and don't intend to be a player, and I don't go about looking for someone just to share carnal pleasures with. I'm all for a good, honest relationship.

People warn me about "typical" guys of my age. Im 24. I warned against guys who'd just break my heart, the kind who sleeps around and looks for "exciting things because, hell, life is short and we're still young so we gotta enjoy life!"

Okay, question. Are you fucking for real? Is this really the typical "PLU" (thanks for the term, Chris)? I mean, seriously. Is a monogamous guy really a rarity? Because if it is, then my chances of trying out a guy to guy relationship runs really thin then! I don't ever intend to date someone- guy or girl- who's into an "open" relationship. It's ridiculous. It hasn't got any real meaning and it's just headed for big trouble. I have problems understanding why a person wouldn't want to invest time, energy and emotions on that one person that he or she loves. I also have a difficult time understanding how a person would just want to keep playing around, those who want nothing but fuck buddies. Lately I've been thinking about re-assessing my priorities. Maybe I'm better off with a girl after all.

When I say I'd like to be in a monogamous relationship, I don't mean wearing a polka-dot duster and settling down like some old couple in Pleasantville. Come ON, it's not like I'm saying I wanna get married when I say I'd like a serious boyfriend.

Where do you find sane guys like these? Not G4M, I've been told, because according to some, most people there are just after hook-ups and one-night stands.

Is there hope? Coz you know, I really still believe in love.

Help, you guys?

Who stopped sending text messages?

An online friend of mine set me up on a date with someone. My second date.

This was in December. Date number 2 and I had been texting and calling a lot since we exchanged phone numbers. He'd been wanting us to meet early on but I told him I wasn't prepared yet, I mean, not after my first date which turned out to be a big disappointment. I kept begging off, telling him I was busy etcetera etcetera. But he was so insistent so finally I told him, "Okay, let's meet."

We met at Starbucks at 1 AM. He wore this black jacket, I was in my usual tee and jeans getup, nothing fancy. I had done some massive Christmas shopping earlier that day and must have looked a little haggard. I had started scouting for presents in the malls around 8PM and went home at 12 AM since SM was closing that late what with the Christmas shoppers and all.

Black Jacket looked okay but seemed kind of neurotic. Over coffee, we would talk about his job and suddenly he'd stare into space. In his text and YM messages he was a sweet and big chatterbox but face to face he'd barely talk. He also kept fudgeting in his seat. I must be really making him uncomfortable. Which is insane because I was the newbie in this field.

"Come on, let's talk about something," I'd offer. Sometimes I'd get some words out of him and sometimes I'd get his blank stares. And then he'd smile. I like his smile.

We talked a little about his job and mine until I thought we were getting nowhere. "Shall we go?" I asked him. I knew that his place was near mine, he told me so over the phone before, so I offered that we could share a cab. He politely declined, saying he needed to go somewhere first. "At this hour?" I asked him, and he replied with some mambo jambo. It suddenly occured to me that either he thought I was an axe murderer (psycho music plays on cue) and he needed to get away from me quick, or he thought I was rather a disappointment.

Of course my ego got hurt. I mean, who did this guy think he was? He wasn't Tom Cruise himself.

When I got home he texted me that it was nice seeing me. I said to myself who was he kidding. I didn't reply to his message and from that point on he stopped sending me text messages.

A few days after the date, the friend who set us up apologized. He said he was sorry we didn't quite match up. It wasn't his fault, of course, and I told him I'd gladly go through a lot of weird and deplorable dates if it meant finding The One in the end of the day.

"He said you stopped texting him," my friend tells me.

Hold on, something wasn't right. "No, he stopped texting me," I contended. My friend said Black Jacket told him it's the other way around.

I thought for a moment. Alright, I had used my spare SIM card in my cellphone that night we met and then changed back to my reguler SIM card the following day. He must have been texting me on that spare SIM that night and I wasn't able to read his messages, I give him that. But he knew both my numbers. If he thought I wasn't replying, he could have tried the other number.

All the same, I gave up the potentiality of the two of us trying it out so I no longer bothered to make it an issue.

Today, however, I received a text message from Black Jacket. He said hello... etcetra etcetera... I hope you find what you're looking for.

I don't quite get this guy. Should I pursue him? I really did like him the way he was before that episode in Starbucks, but as Darren Hayes sang, "on the telephone lines (we are) anyone, (we are) anything we wanna be."

Once again I'm one confused puppy.